Confessio Sancti Patricii
Date: 2024-10-21T00:00:00+00:00

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Title: Confessio Sancti Patricii

Author: Saint Patrick

Release date: October 21, 2024 [eBook #74617]

Language: Latin

Original publication: Paris: D'Amboise, Pres La Barriere D'Enfer, ou Petit-Montrouge

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CONFESSIO SANCTI PATRICII ***

S. PATRICII CONFESSIO,
IN EPISTOLA AD HIBERNOS EXPLICATA.

I. Ego Patricius peccator, rusticissimus et minimus omnium fidelium, et contemptibilissimus apud plurimos, patrem habui Calpornium diaconem, filium quondam Potiti presbyteri, qui fuit in vico Bonavem Taberniæ: villulam Enon prope habuit, ubi capturam dedi. Annorum eram tunc fere sedecim. Deum verum ignorabam; et Hiberione in captivitate adductus sum, cum tot millibus hominum, secundum merita nostra, quia a Deo recessimus et præcepta ejus non custodivimus, et sacerdotibus nostris non obedientes fuimus, qui nostram salutem admonebant: et Dominus induxit super nos iram animationis suæ, et dispersit nos in gentibus multis, etiam usque ad ultimum terræ, ubi nunc parvitas mea esse videtur inter alienigenas. Et ibi Dominus aperuit sensum incredulitatis meæ, ut vel sero rememorarem delicta mea, et ut converterer toto corde ad Dominum Deum meum; qui respexit humilitatem meam, et misertus est adolescentiæ et ignorantiæ meæ, et custodivit me antequam scirem eum, et antequam saperem vel distinguerem inter bonum et malum, et munivit me et consolatus est me, ut pater filium.

II. Unde autem tacere non possum, neque expedit quidem, tanta beneficia et tantam gratiam quam mihi (Dominus præstare) dignatus (est) in terra captivitatis meæ: quia hæc est retributio nostra, ut post correctionem vel agnitionem Dei exaltaremur, et confiteremur mirabilia ejus coram omni natione quæ est sub omni cœlo: quia non est alius Deus, nec unquam fuit nec erit post hunc, præter Deum Patrem ingenitum sine principio, a quo est omne principium, omnia tenens, ut diximus: et hujus Filium Jesum Christum, quem cum Patre scilicet fuisse semper testamur, ante originem sæculi, spiritualiter apud Patrem, inenarrabiliter genitum ante omne principium, et per ipsum facta sunt visibilia et invisibilia, hominem factum devicta morte, in cœlos ad Patrem receptum. Et dedit illi omnem potestatem super omne nomen cœlestium et terrestrium et infernorum, ut omnis lingua confiteatur, quia Dominus et Deus est Jesus Christus (Philip. II, 10, 11): quem credimus, et exspectamus adventum ipsius; mox futurus judex vivorum et mortuorum, qui reddet unicuique secundum facta sua, et infudit in nobis abunde Spiritus sancti donum et pignus immortalitatis, qui facit credentes et obedientes, ut sint filii Dei Patris et cohæredes Christi, quem confitemur et adoramus, unum Deum in Trinitate sacri nominis. Ipse enim dixit per prophetam: Invoca me in die tribulationis tuæ, et liberabo te, et magnificabis me (Jer. XXIX, 12; Psal. LXXX, 8). Et iterum inquit: Opera autem Dei revelare et confiteri honorificum est (Tob. XII, 7).

III. Tamen etsi in multis imperfectus sum, opto fratres et cognatos meos scire qualitatem meam, ut possint perspicere votum animæ meæ. Non ignoro testimonium Domini mei qui in psalmo testatur: Perdes eos qui loquuntur mendacium (Psal. V, 7) et iterum: Os quod mentitur occidit animam (Sap. I, 11). Et idem Dominus in Evangelio inquit: Verbum otiosum quod locuti fuerint homines, reddent pro eo rationem in die judicii (Matth. XII, 36). Unde autem vehementer (debueram) cum timore et tremore metuere hanc sententiam in die illa, ubi nemo poterit se subtrahere vel abscondere, sed omnes omnino reddituri sumus rationem etiam minimorum peccatorum ante tribunal Christi Domini. Quapropter olim cogitavi scribere, sed usque nunc hæsitavi. Timui enim ne inciderem in linguam hominum: et quia non legi, sicut cæteri qui optime itaque jure et sacras litteras utroque pari modo combiberunt, et sermonem illorum ex infantia nunquam mutaverunt, sed magis ad perfectum semper addiderunt.

IV. Nam sermo et loquela nostra translata est in linguam alienam, sicut facile potest probari ex saliva scripturæ meæ, qualiter sum ego in sermonibus instructus atque eruditus; quia inquit Sapiens: Per linguam dignoscitur et sensus, et scientia, et doctrina veritatis (Eccli. IV, 29). Sed quid prodest excusatio juxta veritatem, præsertim cum præsumptione? quatinus modo ipse appeto in senectute mea, quod in juventute non comparavi, quia obstiterunt (peccata mea) ut confirmarem quod ante non perlegeram. Sed quis me credit? Etsi dixero quod ante præfatus sum; adolescens, imo pene puer imberbis capturam dedi, antequam scirem quid peterem, vel quid vitare debueram. Unde ego hodie erubesco et vehementer pertimeo denudare imperitiam meam, quia diserti brevitate sermonis explicare nequeo, sicut spiritus gestit et animus, et sensus monstrat et affectus. Sed si itaque datum mihi fuisset sicut cæteris, verumtamen non silerem propter retributionem. Et si forte videtur apud aliquantos me in hoc præponere cum mea inscitia et tardiori lingua (scriptum est enim: Linguæ balbutientes velociter discent loqui pacem [Isai. XXXII, 4]), quanto magis nos appetere debemus qui sumus, inquit, Epistola Christi, in salutem usque ad ultimum terræ, etsi non diserta, sed rata et fortissime scripta in cordibus vestris, non atramento, sed Spiritu Dei vivi (II Cor. III, 2, 3).

V. Et iterum Spiritus testatur: Et rusticatio ab Altissimo creata est (Eccli. VII, 16). Unde ego primus rusticus perfuga, indoctus scilicet qui nescio in posterum providere: sed scio illud certissime, quia utique priusquam humiliarer, ego eram velut lapis qui jacet in luto profundo: et venit qui potens est, et in sua misericordia sustulit me; et quidem scilicet sursum allevavit et collocavit me in summo pariete. Et inde fortiter debueram exclamare, ad retribuendum quoque aliquid Domino ei pro tantis beneficiis ejus, hic et in æternum, quæ mens hominum æstimare non potest. Unde autem admiramini magni et pusilli qui timetis Deum (Apoc. XIX, 5), et vos ignari Domini rhetorici: audite ergo et scrutamini quis me stultum excitavit de medio eorum qui videntur sapientes esse et legis periti, et potentes in sermone et in onmi re. Et me quidem detestabilem hujus mundi præ cæteris inspiravit, etsi talis essem: dummodo autem ut cum metu et reverentia et sine querela fideliter prodessem genti ad quam caritas Christi transtulit, et donavit me in vita mea, si dignus fuero: denique, ut cum humilitate et veraciter deservirem illis.

VI. In mensura itaque fidei Trinitatis oportet distinguere et sine reprehensione periculi notum facere donum Dei et consolationem æternam, ac sine timore fiducialiter Dei nomen ubique expandere, ut etiam post obitum meum Gallicis relinquerem fratribus et filiis meis quos ego in Domino baptizavi, tot millia hominum. Et non eram dignus neque talis, ut hoc Dominus servulo suo concederet; et post ærumnas et tantas moles, post captivitatem, post annos multos, in gentem illam tantam gratiam mihi donaret, quod ego aliquando in juventute mea nunquam speravi neque cogitavi. Sed postquam Hiberionem deveneram, quotidie (igitur) pecora pascebam et frequens in die orabam, magis ac magis accedebat amor Dei et timor ipsius, et fides augebatur, et spiritus augebatur, ut in die una usque ad centum orationes, et in nocte prope similiter; ut etiam in silvis et monte manebam, et ante lucem excitabar ad orationem per nivem, per gelu, per pluviam: et nihil mali sentiebam, neque ulla pigritia erat in me, sicut modo video, quia tunc in me spiritus fervebat. Et ibi scilicet quadam nocte, in somno audivi vocem dicentem mihi: Bene jejunas, cito iturus ad patriam tuam. Et iterum post paululum tempus, audivi responsum dicens mihi: Ecce navis tua parata est. Et non erat prope, sed forte habebat ducenta millia passus: et ibi nunquam fueram, nec ibi notum quemquam de hominibus habebam.

VII. Et deinde postmodum conversus sum in fugam, et intermisi hominem cum quo fueram sex annis. Et veni in virtute Domini qui viam meam ad bonum dirigebat, et nihil metuebam donec perveni ad navem illam. Et illa (die) qua perveni, profecta est navis de loco suo, et locutus sum, ut haberem unde navigarem cum illis. Et gubernatori displicuit, et acriter cum indignatione respondit: Nequaquam tu nobiscum appetas ire. Et cum hæc audissem, separavi me ab illis, ut venirem ad tuguriolum ubi hospitabam; et in itinere cœpi orare, et antequam orationem consummarem, audivi unum ex illis fortiter exclamantem post me: Veni cito, quia vocant te homines isti. Et statim ad illos reversus sum; et cœperunt mihi dicere: Veni quia ex fide recipimus te; fac nobiscum amicitiam, quomodo volueris. Et in illa die itaque repuli fugere propter timorem Dei. Verumtamen speravi ab illis, ut mihi dicerent: Veni in fide Jesu Christi; quia gentes erant. Et hoc obtinui cum illis (et protinus navigavimus).

VIII. Et post triduum terram cepimus, et viginti octo dies per desertum iter fecimus, et cibus defuit illis, et fames invaluit super eos. Et alia die cœpit gubernator mihi dicere: Quid, Christiane, dicis: Deus tuus magnus et omnipotens est? Quare ergo non potes pro nobis orare, quia nos fame periclitamur? Difficile est enim ut aliquem hominem unquam videamus. Ego enim evidenter dixi illis: Convertimini ex fide et ex toto corde ad Dominum Deum nostrum, quia nihil est illi impossibile, ut hodie cibum mittat vobis in viam vestram, usque dum satiamini: quia ubique abundat illi. Et adjuvante Deo, ita factum est. Ecce grex porcorum in via ante oculos nostros apparuit: et multos ex illis interfecerunt, et ibi duas noctes manserunt bene refecti; et carne eorum relevati sunt, quia multi ex illis defecerunt, et secus viam semivivi derelicti sunt. Et post hæc summas gratias egerunt Deo, et ego honorificatus sum sub oculis eorum.

IX. (Et ex hac die abundanter cibum habuerunt.) Etiam mel silvestre invenerunt, et mihi partem obtulerunt. Et unus ex illis dixit. Hoc immolalitium est. Deo gratias exinde nihil gustavi. Eadem vero nocte eram dormiens, et fortiter tentavit me satanas, cujus memor ero quandiu fuero in hoc corpore. Et cecidit super me veluti saxum ingens, et nihil membrorum meorum prævalens. Sed unde mihi venit, ignoro, in spiritum ut Heliam vocarem. Et inter hæc vidi in cœlo solem oriri; et dum clamarem: Heliam! Heliam! totis viribus meis, ecce splendor solis decidit super me, et statim discussit a me omnem gravitudinem. Et credo quod a Christo Domino meo (subventus sum, et Spiritus ejus jam tunc) clamabat pro me, et spero quod sic erit in die pressuræ meæ, sicut in Evangelio inquit (In illa die) Dominus (testatur): Non vos estis qui loquimini, sed Spiritus Patris vestri qui loquitur in vobis (Matth. X. 20).

X. Et iterum post annos (non) multos adhuc capturam dedi. Ea nocte prima itaque mansi cum illis. Responsum autem divinum audivi dicens mihi: Duos menses eris cum illis; quod ita factum est. Nocte illa sexagesima liberavit me Dominus de manibus eorum. Ecce in itinere providit nobis cibum et ignem, et siccitatem quotidie: donec quarto decimo die pervenimus ad homines. Sicut superius insinuavi, viginti et octo dies per desertum iter fecimus, et ea nocte qua pervenimus ad homines, de cibo vero nihil habuimus. Et iterum post paucos annos in Britanniis eram cum parentibus meis, qui me ut filium susceperunt: et ex fide rogaverunt me, ut vel modo ego (post tantas tribulationes quas pertuli) nunquam ab illis discederem. Et ibi scilicet vidi in visu nocte virum venientem quasi de Hiberione cui nomen Victoricius, cum epistolis innumerabilibus: et dedit mihi unam ex illis, et legi principium epistolæ continentem: Vox Hiberionacum. Et dum recitabam principium epistolæ, putabam ipso momento, audire vocem ipsorum qui erant juxta silvam Focluli, quæ est prope mare Occidentale. Et sic exclamaverunt quasi ex uno ore: Rogamus te, sancte puer, ut venias et adhuc ambules inter nos. Et valde compunctus sum corde, et amplius non potui legere, et sic expergefactus sum. Deo gratias, quia post annos plurimos præstitit illis Dominus secundum clamorem eorum.

XI. Et alia nocte, nescio, Deus scit, utrum in me, an juxta me, verbis peritissimis quæ ego audivi et non potui intelligere, nisi ad postremum orationis sic affatus est: qui pro te animam suam posuit. Et sic expergefactus sum gaudibundus. Et iterum vidi in me ipsum orantem, et eram quasi intra corpus meum: et audivi super me, hoc est, super interiorem hominem; et ibi fortiter orabat gemitibus. Et inter hæc stupebam, et admirabar, et cogitabam quis esset qui in me orabat. Sed ad postremum orationis sic effatus est, ut sit spiritus. Et sic experrectus sum, et recordatus sum, Apostolo dicente: Spiritus adjuvat infirmitatem nostræ orationis. Nam quid oremus sicut oportet, nescimus; sed ipse Spiritus postulat pro nobis gemitibus inenarrabilibus (Rom. VIII, 26), quæ verbis exprimi non possunt. Et iterum: Dominus advocatus noster postulat pro nobis (Ibid., 34). Et quando tentatus sum ab aliquantis senioribus meis qui venerunt, ob peccata mea, contra laboriosum episcopatum meum: utique in illo die fortiter impulsus sum ut caderem hic et in æternum. Sed Dominus pepercit proselyto et peregrino propter nomen suum benigne; et valde mihi subvenit in hac conculcatione, quod in labem et in opprobrium non male deveni. Deum oro ut non illis in peccatum reputetur occasio: nam post annos triginta invenerunt me, et adversus verbum quod confessus fueram antequam essem diaconus.

XII. Propter anxietatem, mœsto animo insinuavi amicissimo meo, quæ in pueritia mea, una die gesseram, imo in una hora, quia necdum prævalebam. Nescio, Deus scit, si habebam tunc annos quindecim, et Deum vivum non credebam, neque ex infantia mea; sed in morte et in incredulitate mansi, donec valde castigatus sum, et in veritate humiliatus sum a fame et nuditate; et quotidie contra Hiberionem non sponte pergebam, donec prope deficiebam. Sed hoc potius bene mihi fuit, quia ex hoc emendatus sum a Domino, et aptavit me ut hodie essem quod aliquando longe a me erat, ut ego curas haberem aut satagerem pro salute aliorum; quando tunc etiam de meipso non cogitabam. Igitur in illo die quo reprobatus sum a memoratis supradictis (ad noctem illam), vidi in visu noctis scriptum contra faciem meam, sine honore. Et inter hæc, audivi responsum (divinum) dicens mihi: Male vidimus faciem designati nudato nomine. Nec sic prædixit: Male vidisti; sed: Male vidimus, quasi ibi se junxit, sicut dixit: Qui vos tangit, quasi tangit pupillam oculi mei (Zach. II, 8). Idcirco gratias ago ei qui me in omnibus confortavit, ut non me impediret a profectione quam statueram, et de meo quoque opere quod a Christo didiceram: sed magis ex eo sensi in me virtutem non parvam, et fides mea probata est coram Deo et hominibus.

XIII. Unde autem audenter dico: Non me reprehendit conscientia mea hic et in futurum. Testem Deum habeo quia non sum mentitus in sermonibus quos ego retuli vobis. Sed magis doleo pro amicissimo meo, cur hoc meruimus audire tale responsum, cui ego credidi etiam animam. Et comperi ab aliquantis fratribus, ante defensionem illam, quod ego non interfui, nec in Britanniis eram, nec a me orietur, ut et ille in mea absentia, pro me pulsetur. Etiam mihi ipse ore suo dixerat: Ecce dandus es tu ad gradum episcopatus, quo non eram dignus. Sed unde venit illi postmodum, ut coram cunctis bonis et malis in me publice dehonestaret, quod ante sponte et lætus indulserat? Est Dominus, qui major omnibus est. Satis dico: sed tamen non debeo abscondere donum Dei quod largitus est nobis in terra captivitatis meæ: quia tunc fortiter inquisivi eum, et ibi inveni illum, et servavit me ab omnibus iniquitatibus. Sic credo, propter inhabitantem Spiritum ejus, qui operatus est usque in hanc diem in me audenter rursus. Sed scit Deus, si mihi homo effatus fuisset, forsitan tacuissem, propter caritatem Christi.

XIV. Unde ergo indefessam gratiam agam Deo meo, qui me fidelem servavit in die tentationis meæ, ita ut hodie confidenter offeram illi sacrificium, ut hostiam viventem animam meam Christo Domino meo, qui me servavit ab omnibus angustiis meis: ut et dicam: Quis ego sum, Domine, vel quæ est vocatio mea, qui mihi tantam divinitatem cooperuisti? ita ut hodie in gentibus constanter exsultarem et magnificarem nomen tuum, ubicunque fuero; nec non in secundis, sed etiam in pressuris: ut quidquid mihi evenerit, sive bonum sive malum, æqualiter debeo suscipere et Deo gratias semper agere, qui mihi ostendit ut indubitabilem eum sine fine crederem, et qui me audierit: ut et ego inscius sim in novissimis diebus hoc opus tam pium et tam mirificum adire aggrederer, ita ut imitarer quospiam illos quos ante Dominus jam olim prædixerat prænuntiaturos Evangelium suum, in testimonium omnibus gentibus, ante finem mundi. Quod ita ergo (ut vidimus itaque) suppletum est. Ecce testes sumus, quia Evangelium prædicatum est usque ubi nemo ultra est.

XV. Longum est autem totum per singula enarrare laborem meum, vel per partes. Breviter dicam qualiter piissimus Deus de servitute sæpe liberavit ex duodecim periculis, quibus periclitata est anima mea, præter insidias multas, et quæ verbis exprimere non valeo: nec et injuriam legentibus faciam. Sed dum auctorem habeo, qui novit omnia, etiam antequam fiant (ut me pauperculum pupillum). Ideo tamen responsum divinum creberrime admonuit, unde mihi hæc sapientia quæ in me non erat, qui nec numerum dierum noveram, neque Deum sapiebam: unde mihi postmodum donum tam magnum, tam salubre, Deum agnoscere, vel diligere: sed ut patriam, et parentes amitterem; et munera multa mihi offerebantur, cum fletu et lacrymis: et offendi illos, nec non contra votum, aliquantis de senioribus meis. Sed, gubernante Deo, nullo modo consensi, neque acquievi illis, non mea gratia, sed Deus qui vicit in me, et restitit illis omnibus, ut ego venirem ad Hibernas gentes Evangelium prædicare, et ab incredulis contumelias perferre, ut haurirem opprobrium peregrinationis meæ, et persecutiones multas, usque ad vincula, et ut darem ingenuitatem meam pro utilitate aliorum.

XVI. Et si dignus fuero, promptus sum ut etiam animam meam incunctanter et libentissime pro nomine ejus, et ibi opto impendere eam usque ad mortem, si Dominus mihi indulgeret: quia valde debitor sum Deo, qui mihi tantam gratiam donavit, ut populi multi per me in Deum renascerentur, et postmodum consummarentur; et ut clerici ubique illis ordinarentur ad plebem nupervenientem ad credulitatem quam sumpsit Dominus ab extremis terræ, sicut olim promiserat per prophetas. Ad te gentes venient ab extremis terræ, et dicent: Sicut falsa comparaverunt patres nostri idola, et non est utilitas in eis (Jer. XVI, 19). Et iterum: Posui te lumen in gentibus, ut sis in salutem usque ad extremum terræ (Isai. XLIX, 6). Et ibi volo exspectare promissum ipsius, qui utique nunquam fallit, sicut in Evangelio pollicetur: Venient ab Oriente et Occidente, et recumbent cum Abraham, et Isaac, et Jacob (Matth. VIII, 11), sicut credimus, ab omni mundo venturi sunt credentes.

XVII. Idcirco oportet quidem bene et diligenter piscari, sicut Dominus præmonet, dicens: Venite post me, et faciam vos fieri piscatores hominum (Matth. IV, 18). Et iterum dicit per prophetas: Ecce ego mitto piscatores et venatores multos, dicit Dominus (Jer. XVI, 16), etc. Unde autem valde oportebat retia nostra tendere, ita ut multitudo copiosa et turba Deo caperetur, ut ubique essent clerici qui baptizarent et exhortarentur populum indigentem et desiderantem, sicut Dominus in Evangelio admonet et docet, dicens: Euntes ergo docete omnes gentes, baptizantes eos in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus sancti; docentes eos observare omnia quæcunque mandavi vobis. Et ecce ego vobiscum sum omnibus diebus usque ad consummationem sæculi (Matth. XXVIII, 19, 20). Et iterum dicit: Euntes ergo in mundum universum præedicate Evangelium omni creaturæ. Qui crediderit et baptizatus fuerit, salvus erit. Qui vero non crediderit condemnabitur (Marc. XVI, 15, 16). Et iterum: Prædicabitur hoc Evangelium regni universo mundo, in testimonium omnibus gentibus, et tunc veniet finis (Matth. XXIV, 14). Et item Dominus per prophetam prænuntians, inquit: Et erit in novissimis diebus, dicit Dominus: Effundam de Spiritu meo super omnem carnem, et prophetabunt filii vestri et filiæ vestræ, et filii vestri visiones videbunt, et seniores vestri somnia somniabunt. Et quidem super servos meos, et super ancillas meas, in diebus illis effundam de Spiritu meo, et prophetabunt (Joel. II, 28, 29). Et in Osea dicit: Vocabo non plebem meam, plebem meam, et non misericordiam consecutam, misericordiam consecutam (Oseæ II, 24; Rom, IX, 25; I Petr. II, 10). Et erit in loco ubi dictum est: Non plebs mea vos, ibi vacabuntur filii a Dei vivi (Oseæ I, 10; Rom. IX, 26).

XVIII. Unde autem Hiberionæ qui nunquam notitiam Dei habuerunt, nisi idola et immunda usque nunc semper coluerunt; quomodo nuper facta est plebs Domini, et filii Dei nuncupantur? Filii Scottorum et filiæ regulorum, monachi et virgines Christi esse videntur. Et etiam una benedicta Scotta genitiva nobilis, pulcherrima, adulta erat, quam ego baptizavi. Et post paucos dies, una causa venit ad nos: insinuavit nobis responsum accepisse a nuntio Dei, et monuit etiam ut esset virgo Christi et ipsa Deo proximaret. Deo gratias: sexta ab hac die optime et avidissime arripuit illud, quod etiam omnes virgines Dei ita hoc faciunt, non sponte patrum earum, sed persecutionem patiuntur, et improperia falsa a parentibus suis: et nihilominus plus augetur numerus, et de genere nostro qui ibi nati sunt, nescimus numerum eorum, præter viduas et continentes. Sed et illæ maxime laborant, quæ servitio detinentur, usque ad terrores et minas assidue perseverant. Sed Dominus gratiam dedit multis ex ancillis suis; nam etsi vetantur, tamen fortiter imitantur.

XIX. Unde autem etsi voluero amittere illas, et ut pergens in Britannias et libentissime paratus eram, quasi ad patriam et parentes: non id solum, sed eram usque Gallias visitare fratres, et ut viderem faciem sanctorum Domini mei. Scit Deus quod ego valde optabam; sed alligatus Spiritu, qui mihi protestatur si hoc fecero, ut futurum reum me esse designat; et timeo perdere laborem quem inchoavi. Et non ego, sed Christus Dominus qui me imperavit ut venirem, esse cum illis residuum ætatis meæ; si Dominus voluerit et custodierit me ab omni via inala, ut non peccem coram illo. Spero autem hoc debueram, sed memet ipsum non credo, quandiu fuero in hoc corpora mortis, quia fortis est qui quotidie nititur subvertere me a fide et a proposita castitate, usque in finem vitæ meæ, Christo Domino meo: sed caro inimica semper trahit ad mortem, id est, ad illecebras illicite perficiendas. Et scio ex parte quare vitam perfectam ego non egi, sicut et cæteri credentes. Sed confiteor Domino meo, et non erubesco in couspectu ipsius, quia non mentior: ex quo cognovi eum a juventute mea crevit in me amor Dei et timor ipsius, et usque nunc favente Domino fidem servavi.

XX. Rideat autem et insultet qui voluerit: ego non silebo, neque abscondam signa et mirabilia quæ mihi a Domino ministrata sunt ante multos annos quam fierent, quasi qui novit omnia, etiam ante tempora sæcularia. Unde autem debueram sine cessatione Deo gratias agere, qui sæpe indulsit insipientiæ meæ…Et de loco non in unoquoque, ut non mihi vehementer irasceretur, qui adjutor datus sum et non cito acquievi, secundum quod mihi ostensum fuerat, et sicut Spiritus suggerebat. Et misertus est mihi Dominus in millia millium, quia vidit in me quod paratus eram, sed quod mihi pro his nesciebam de statu meo quid facerem, quia multi hanc legationem prohibebant, et jam inter seipsos post tergum meum narrabant et dicebant: Iste quare se mittit in periculum inter hostes qui Dominum non noverunt? Non causa malitiæ; sed non sapiebat illis, sicut et ego ipse testor, intellexi, propter rusticitatem meam. Et non cito agnovi gratiam quæ tunc erat in me: nunc mihi sapit quod ante debueram.

XXI. Nunc ergo simpliciter insinuavi fratribus et conservis meis qui mihi crediderunt. Propter quod prædixi et prædico ad roborandam et confirmandam fidem vestram. Utinam et vos imitemini majora, et potiora faciatis. Hoc erit gloria mea; quia filius sapiens gloria patris est (Prov. XI, 1; XV, 20). Vos scitis et Deus, qualiter apud vos conversatus sum a juventute mea, in fide veritatis et in sinceritate cordis: etiam ad gentes illas inter quas habito, ego fidem illis præstavi et præstabo. Deus scit neminem illorum circumveni, nec cogito propter Deum et Ecclesiam ipsius, ne excitem illis et nobis omnibus persecutionem, et ne per me blasphemaretur nomen Domini, quia scriptum est: Vœ homini per quem nomen Domini blasphematur (Lev. XXIV, 16). Nam etsi imperitus sum in omnibus, tamen conatus sum quispiam servare me etiam et fratribus Christianis, et virginibus Christi, et mulieribus religiosis, quæ mihi ultronea munuscula donabant et super altare reddebant, ex ornamentis suis, et iterum reddebam illis. Et adversus me scandalizabantur, cur hoc faciebam. Sed ego (hoc faciebam) propter spem perennitatis, ut me in omnibus caute propterea conservarem, ita ut me in aliquo titulo infideles non carperent vel ministerium servitutis meæ, nec etiam in minimo incredulis locum darem infamare sive detrectare.

XXII. Forte autem, quando baptizavi tot millia hominum, speraverim ab aliquo illorum vel dimidium scriptulæ? Dicite mihi et reddam vobis: aut quando ordinavit Dominus clericos per modicitatem meam et ministerium, gratis distribui illis. Si poposci ab aliquo illorum vel pretium calceamenti mei, dicite; dicite adversus me, et reddam vobis. Magis ego impendi pro vobis, ut me caperet: et inter vos et ubique pergebam causa vestra in multis periculis, etiam usque ad exteras partes, ubi nemo ultra erat, et ubi nunquam aliquis pervenerat qui baptizaret, aut clericos ordinaret, aut populum consummaret, donante Domino, diligenter et libentissime pro salute vestra omnia generavi. Interim præmia dabam regibus, propter quod dabam mercedem filiis ipsorum qui mecum ambulant, et nihil comprehenderunt a me cum comitibus meis. Et illa die avidissime cupiebant interficere me: sed tempus nondum venerat. Et omnia quæcunque nobis invenerunt, rapuerunt illa, et me ipsum ferro vinxerunt: et quarto decimo die absolvit me Dominus de potestate eorum; et quidquid nostrum fuit, redditum est nobis, propter Deum et necessarios amicos quos ante providimus.

XXIII. Vos autem experti estis quantum ego erogavi illis, qui judicabant per omnes regiones quas frequentius visitabam. Censeo enim non minimum pretium quindecim hominum distribui illis. Ita ut me si fruamini, et ego vobis semper fruar in Deum, non me pœnitet nec satis est mihi, adhuc impendo et super impendam: potens est Dominus ut det mihi postmodum ut meipsum impendam pro animabus vestris (II Cor. XII, 15). Ecce testem Deum invoco in animam meam, quia non mentior, quod neque, ut fit, causa adulationis vel avaritiæ scripserim vobis, neque ut honorem sperarem vestrum. Sufficit enim mihi honor qui non videtur, sed corde creditur; fidelis autem qui promisit, nunquam mentitur. Sed video jam in præsenti sæculo me supra modum exaltatum a Domino. Et non eram dignus neque talis, ut hoc mihi præstaret: dum scio certissime quod mihi melius convenit paupertas et calamitas, quam deliciæ et divitiæ. Sed et Christus Dominus pauper fuit pro nobis. Ego vero miser et infelix, et si opes voluero, jam non habeo, neque meipsum (dignum) judico, quia quotidie spero aut internecionem, aut circumveniri, aut redigi in servitutem, sive occasionem cujuslibet. Sed nihil horum vereor propter promissa cœlorum, quia jactavi meipsum in manus Dei omnipotentis qui ubique dominatur, sicut propheta dicit: Jacta cogitatum tuum in Deum, et ipse te enutriet (Psal. LIV, 23).

XXIV. Ecce nunc commendo animam meam fidelissimo Deo meo, pro quo legatione fungor in ignobilitate mea (II Cor. V, 20). Sed quia personam non accipit, et elegit me ad hoc officium, ut unus essem de suis minimis minister: Unde autem retribuam illi pro omnibus quæ retribuit mihi (Psal. CXV, 12). Sed quid dicam, vel quid promittam Domino meo? Quia nihil valeo, nisi ipse mihi dederit; sed scrutatur corda et renes, quia satis et nimis cupio, et paratus eram ut donaret mihi bibere calicem ejus, sicut indulsit cæeteris amantibus se. Quapropter non contingat mihi a Deo meo, ut unquam amittam plebem suam quam acquisivi in ultimis terræ. Oro Deum ut det mihi perseverantiam, et dignetur ut reddam illi testem fidelem usque ad transitum meum propter Deum meum. Et si aliquid boni unquam imitatus sum propter Deum meum quem diligo, peto illum det mihi ut cum illis proselytis et captivis pro nomine suo effundam sanguinem meum, etsi ipse etiam caream sepultura, aut miserrime cadaver per singula membra dividatur canibus aut bestiis asperis, aut volucres cœli comederint illud. Certissime reor, si mihi hoc incurrisset, lucratus sum animam cum corpore meo: quia sine ulla dubitatione in die illa resurgemus in claritate solis, hoc est, in gloria Christi Jesu redemptoris nostri, Filii Dei vivi, et cohæredes Christi (Rom. VIII, 17) et conformes futuræ imaginis ipsius (Ibid., 29): quoniam ex ipso, et per ipsum, et in ipso, regnaturi sumus.

XXV. Nam sol iste quem videmus, Deo jubente, propter nos quotidie oritur, sed nunquam regnabit, neque permanebit splendor ejus. Sed et omnes qui adorant eum, in pœnam miseri male devenient. Nos autem credimus et adoramus Solem verum, Christum qui nunquam interibit; neque qui facit voluntatem ipsius, sed manebit in æternum, quomodo et Christus manebit in æternum, qui regnat cum Deo Patre omnipotente et cum Spiritu sancto, ante sæcula, et nunc, et per omnia sæcula sæculorum. Amen. Ecce iterum iterumque breviter exponam verba confessionis meæ. Testificor in veritate et in exsultatione cordis, coram Deo et sanctis angelis ejus, quia nunquam habui aliquam occasionem, præter Evangelium et promissa illius, ut unquam redirem ad gentem illam unde autem prius vix evaseram. Sed precor credentibus et timentibus Deum, quicunque dignatus fuerit inspicere vel recipere hanc scripturam, quam Patricius peccator, indoctus scilicet, Hiberione conscripsit, ut nemo unquam dicat quod mea ignorantia, si aliquid pusillum egi vel demonstraverim, secundum Dei placitum. Sed arbitramini, et verissime credatur, quod donum Dei fuisset. Et hæc est confessio mea antequam moriar.

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